November
2006
You were not there
I woke up rough on drink and pills
Without a fag to clean my gills
Alone I dive and swim through streets
(Insides queasy as ocean floor)
Alone I sway as bus I meet,
Another face; I never saw;
You were not there.
There, sat, my head in no fit state
But still I tried to contemplate
This break to come, away from all;
From you. In glass I catch my stare
Saw plans to make and friends to call
And then, All sudden, came aware
You were not there.
In car with rich and errant friends
Bright day; my body self-attends.
The golden syrup tongues my throat
I hungry fuck each cigarette
My nostrils wear a snow white coat.
Laughed that I did not regret
You were not there.
A cottage; village, then just hills
And liquid; solid; powder; pills.
An unexplored, uncharted space,
Good company and time to blow.
Thru fags we burn and drinks we race –
Did I care? Or just always know
You were not there.
Went to the lake to entertain,
To rent a boat, despite the rain.
There at the wheel I stand and smoke
And feel the spray against my face,
The roaring wind turn breath to choke
And I’m content here in this place.
You were not there.
So home and short sincere farewells
And I reflect and rest my cells.
What memories accompany
The vodka-filtered time I had!
Myself alone, in harmony,
Now looking back I guess I’m glad
You were not there.
A natural talent and a natural reader of his own work. Tidiness of structure counterpoised the roughness of existence delivered in his content is typically offered in this poem.